A constructive approach to the effective resolution of your divorce.

Family mediation is an agreement-reaching process suitable for a wide range of family issues, divorce and many others, from pre-nuptial agreements to probate disputes, family-owned business conflicts and living-together contracts. Mediation offers divorcing couples a way forward with dignity, to an agreement that meets their needs for parenting plans, child and/or spousal support, division of assets and debts, or modifications of existing orders. My approach is respectful, understanding, businesslike and pragmatic. I help couples find common ground on which they can build their agreements.

You Will Find That Mediation Is

• Flexible and Client-Centered
• Customized to your own circumstances
• Private and Confidential
• Creative and Conducted in a Secure Atmosphere
• Safer for Children
• Faster and Less Expensive than going to court

I am a Certified Family Law Specialist with extensive training in Collaborative Practice, Mediation and a full member of the International Academy Of Collaborative Professionals. My practice is devoted exclusively to these constructive, respectful and supportive methods because they work and they leave people with their families, their personal and their economic dignity intact.

Mediation is a process in which people building agreements with the assistance of a trained mediator who is a neutral third party. In mediation the parties, guided and supported by the mediator, communicate about their conflict with the goal of reaching a settlement. Some divorcing couples may be able to work out all issues dividing them without help. However, it is usually the case that people going through a divorce or other family conflict will need some assistance to reach an agreement that most effectively meets their needs and the needs of any children who may be involved.

Many of us in the family law bar (and many family law judges, as well) have long recognized the need for a system that would permit our clients to effectively resolve their divorce issues without having to subject themselves to the traumatic adversarial process on which our court system is based. This concern has been echoed by professionals who deal with the consequences of divorce. The adversarial process in divorce cases is something that most clients experience as a hostile, wounding battle and an extreme invasion of privacy, a system which rewards the person who is most willing to fight and to attempt to injure the other even though the fight is also self-destructive. Even those willing to fight do so primarily because they believe that they need to make the "best" use of the tools that the system makes available to them if they are to survive their divorce case in court.

As is also the case with Collaborative practice, effective family mediation requires a discrete set of skills and attitudes that is quite different from the set of skills and attitudes characteristic of an effective advocate or litigation-oriented lawyer. Attorneys (myself included to be sure) making the transition to mediation must unlearn behaviors which made them successful as litigators. In Mediation and Collaborative Practice we call this the Paradigm Shift. For me, personally, the effect of the shift was so illuminating that I eventually decided to terminate the litigation portion of my practice and to focus exclusively on these more humane and constructive approaches.

The primary benefit of mediating a divorce is that the parties control the shape and terms of their agreement. In essence, they create their own customized agreement, tailored to their unique situation. While there are certain statutory items that must be considered, agreements made in mediation can cover a wider spectrum of issues, with more creative, individualized results, than would be possible if a judge were to control the process. In addition, mediation is confidential. Everything said during mediation, any draft resolutions or unsigned mediated agreements are considered settlement negotiations, and therefore will not be admissible in court.

Research and reports from clients and practitioners indicate that, when the parties are involved in crafting their own agreements, the long-term satisfaction and compliance rates are much higher than when a court imposes terms on a couple. This is a big plus when there are children involved. Also, once parties have come to agreement in mediation, if circumstances change, they are more likely to either find that that they are capable of developing solutions on their own or they return to mediation to modify their agreement rather than resorting to litigation about the changed circumstances. 

How to Get Started

Share this information with your spouse.  Even though this may be a very difficult time for each of you, this is an opportunity for both of you to choose a constructive way to take care of the business of divorce.  And be sure to look over the standard documents:<<<placeholder until documents are identified>>>

These documents and the other information on this site will give you a good idea of how Mediation works.

Once you and your spouse have decided to resolve the issues in your divorce with mediation, you jointly select a mediator. This process will often include a relatively brief joint introductory session to give the parties an opportunity to meet the mediator in person and to get an initial sense of how they will feel working with the mediator in each other's presence. This will help you to develop a sense of understanding and confidence that will be most valuable as the process advances.

During or at the end of the introductory session you will each receive some written information about the process to review. We will discuss how mediation would work in your situation and how it will differ from what you would experience in divorce litigation.  We will also examine various aspects of your case - for example, whether there are any needs that might benefit from prompt attention, how you and your spouse can best assemble the necessary financial information and your goals and your most significant concerns. Once you both decide to proceed, you each call to schedule the first working appointment with the mediator.  You will receive a letter confirming your appointment along with an intake form to fill out and a copy of the written Agreement to Mediate for your review.  At the first session, the mediator will explain the process, the mediator's role, the parties' role. You and the mediator will discuss decide on any ground rules that either of you think might be helpful to make the process safe and fair. You and the mediator will also review the written Agreement to Mediate and you will get answers all of your questions about the agreement and the process.  After the Agreement to Mediate is signed by both parties, the mediator and the parties develop an agenda of the issues to discuss and start gathering information and documents any subjects that either of you think need to be discusses usually including:

• All the assets and debts so parties can make fully informed decisions about their division of property
• Income and expenses so parties can decide what support is needed, the amount of support and for how long
• Children's and parents' needs and interests so the parents can develop a parenting plan which will work for everyone

Throughout the process, the mediator facilitates communication so that each party can safely express what is important to them and why.  The mediator assists both parties in negotiating an agreement that meets their individual and family needs, interests and values.  The goal is for the parties to reach an agreement that will be considered fair and acceptable and honored by both parties now and in the future.